Famous Nigerian singer Tems has spoken candidly about being in a toxic relationship with a partner who was “obsessive and possessive”.
The Essence crooner stated that the nature of the relationship went against her beliefs in an open conversation with media personality Angie Martinez, emphasising that she thinks a healthy relationship is about cooperation rather than ownership.
According to Tems, toxic relationships are exhausting since the toxic spouse may not even recognise their own toxicity.
“I have experienced love where I thought it was love but it was more like when someone is trying to own you. They think that they own you. And that’s not love.
“Love is not obsession. And it is not possession. I can’t own another human being. Love is when both of you become one person.
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“We don’t own each other, we are each other. I feel everyone has experienced toxic love with someone who doesn’t even know that they are toxic.
“They say they love you but they don’t know that they don’t even love you. Because you can’t love someone you feel you own,” she expressed.
In December 2025, Tems shared her opinions on marriage, saying that she thinks it should be motivated by a desire for progress rather than just feelings.
In a recent interview with media personality Angie Martinez, the multiple Grammy winner expressed her belief that marriage may experience difficult moments and that individuals should approach it knowing that it won’t be perfect.
Tems clarified that she preferred a God-fearing partner since, in her opinion, such a person will be accountable given the uncertain nature of marriage.
